Friday, February 20, 2009

I’m just not that into this.

The world’s bestestest, so much cooler than me little sister –the Magster-had this week off from school. Since she is smack in the middle of doing a stellar job at her college dance auditions, I decided that I could try and pull some of my big sister weight and be cool enough for a chic flick "He's Just Not That Into You"

  (This is a big step for me: a quick P.S. about movies that categorize as chick flicks in the  “P.S I love you” genre -  I hate them. (Excluding, of course, “When Harry Met Sally”)  – The “romantic comedy” builds up false expectations.  I’ve watched wayyyyy tooo many women sit around doing stupid things waiting and hoping for a love-story instead of going out and loving their lives)

 But all coolness aside –here is a quick reality check from a used-to be bitter love queen who now embraces that love is good if it’s equal and shared.

 Maggie – a life lesson. DO NOT feel the need to give your attention to any and every man that shows you time and or attention ESPECIALLY if you’re just not that into him.

Granted, my dating portfolio, at times, looks a little - - -let’s say - -- - interesting - but the truth of the matter is I didn’t date or even learn the last name of anyone that I wasn’t that into.

  As a species, all women are some magnitude of 1) smart, 2) funny and 3) good looking. Some women excel in one of these categories over the other two. BUT it turns out –throughout history men continue to like females. SO – why worry if he is that into us?  Just focus if he’s worth-a-damn of being into and if not – move on.

 Also, Sitting at home and eating because you don’t have a date does not make you smarter, funnier or prettier. Put on your big girl panties, get out there and do the things that you’re into.

 And, a closing note - if he’s married, well – to quote the one allowed chick flick “He’s never going to leave her” – I’m right, I’m right, you know I’m right. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Just Add Greens

Overheard in a conversation about macaroni and cheese just now…

 “Yours had broccoli in it – so yours is healthy”

I'm not judging you, I'm just saying - 

Monday, February 9, 2009

A Moment In My Job

Real conversations while keeping a straight face:

me:Are you employed
Woman: I have 11 children
me (not blinking): Oh
Woman: well, I also have 5 foreign exchange students - that I homeschool
Me: That sounds like a full time job; tell me about what you dont like about the grocery offerings at Kinney's
Woman:You know what ticks me off - they only sell half gallons, we use gallons of milk each week, so half gallons just doesnt make sense, I can't imagine why they wouldnt sell whole gallons it's not economical
Me: Fair, (jokingly) a cow would be more economical
Woman: you know, We were thinking about getting a goat...

- (crickets) -

Me: lets talk about the candy isle....

Hence why I needed this Vacation